Extended family sneaks bacon grease and other meats into their teenage vegetarian family member's meals for years, claim it was for her own good: 'They kept smiling and giggling about it, so it felt like more of a joke'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 10, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Meat eaters can be so weird about vegetarians. I say that as someone who eats all types of meat all the time. I couldn't imagine my life without fried chicken and cured salami, but I don't have anything against people making healthier choices than I do. There is no shortage of meat eaters who have a horrible diet and never exercise, but the second they hear that someone is a vegetarian, they're suddenly super concerned about their protein intake and their overall health. It's so rare that any of these protein warriors know how much protein they should be getting in a day, nor do they likely even consume as much protein as they think they are. They just want people to eat meat like them because any healthier lifestyle is threatening to their egos. That's the case with this family and the teenage vegetarian they just had to mess with. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10440178688
    via Ahmet Kurt (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH For being mad that my family snuck meat in my food when I was a vegetarian?
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    In high school, I was a vegetarian for a couple of years. I was really into it, not like vegan teacher crazy but more like I just enjoyed being in a community, I'm no longer a vegetarian as an adult though. I overheard my Mother and Grandma laughing and telling something to their friends. Turns out, the whole time I was vegetarian my
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    whole family (Even extended which is like 50 people) had a game where they would see how often they could sneak me meat. Cooking veggies in bacon grease and stuff like that. At birthday parties, family gatherings, thanksgiving, and just dinner at home. It was like an inside joke game for years, and I'm kinda upset. I confronted them but they said they were only doing it for my own good, that I needed more
    via u/Lady_Squids
  • 05
    protein, but they kept smiling and giggling to one another about it so it felt like more of a joke. I dunno, maybe it wasn't and they really did do it because they cared, but it still feels mean. They all say I'm being a drama queen for being upset. So I guess what do you think? Am I the a; hole for being upset by this or should I just laugh with my family?
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    Mobile_Following_198 NTA. It's valid you're upset by this. At the same time, you can't retroactively do anything about it, unfortunately. So pick your battles. Although I would be wary of eating their food, considering the history of food tampering. Also, you may need to help your family understand nutrition. And just basic science. Bacon grease has 0 protein in it. Because it's a fat. Not protein. It sounds like they think animal products = protein and that plant products can't have protein, an
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
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    ETA: To be clear, the comment about teaching their family about protein was sarcasm because they actually did this to humiliate her, not give her protein. Although OP could give them science/nutrition lessons as a tongue in cheek way to insult them.
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
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    Lady Squids OP That's what makes me think despite what they said it was more a game between them all rather then a protein thing
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    Mobile_Following_198 Oh, it most definitely was a game to them. Although I also wouldn't doubt the scientific ignorance. There's a shocking amount of people who legitimately believe all animal products have protein in them. I'm not even a vegetarian, but I am a scientist.
    via u/Mobile_Following_198
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    Open_Significance 199 They just enjoyed messing with your diet choices and now want to hide behind "health concerns."
    via u/Open_Significance199
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    Watson424242 I'd tell them that they've taught you that they can't be trusted with anything important. “Thanks for showing me who you all really are."
    via u/Watson424242
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    No_Appointment_7232 People who love and respect you - even as a high schooler trying on a lifestyle - don't do things to humiliate you behind your back. People who love and respect you don't secretly feed you food products you are choosing to avoid. People who love and respect you, show you love and respect.
    via u/No_Appointment_7232
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    Next gathering or if it was me I would confront them individually, "I don't understand how people who are supposed to love and respect me would make me the båt of a family joke that literally 50+ people were in on. I don't understand how laughing about it together, behind my back is what family who is supposed to love me would do. Can you explain to me how it is you show that you love & value me as the person I choose to be & not who you think I should be? How am I supposed to trust people who w
    via u/No_Appointment_7232
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    OP do a little research on toxic family dynamics. The Golden Child and the scapegoats in families like this. I was the scapegoat. I finally realized that they will never let me be anything but the scapegoat, the bt of the joke, the adult they make sit at the kids table and the fodder for their cruel 'jokes' (the joke was always on me and never funny, except to them) because if I'm not the scapegoat one of them will be.
    via u/No_Appointment_7232
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    I fired them when I was 55. Wish I'd done it by my 30's. I'd have made deep relationships w chosen family and had more than a few actual happy holidays. You deserve better.
    via u/No_Appointment_7232
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    plurtoburtskunk They did not care about your protein intake. Your decision made them insecure about their beliefs so they undercut you. Politely being a vegetarian makes other people so upset.
    via u/plurtoburtskunk
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    DankVapor NTA - Make some brownies and bring them over. Let everyone eat but you don't eat. When they ask, "Because I know what's in them," and do not elaborate further and just go home.
    via u/DankVapor
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    Lady Squids OP Ok but now I actually wanna do that
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    Relative Dentist5396 Also never eat their food again. Tell them that you can't trust them if they acted like little kids as adults and then didn't even have the decency to say sorry. It might not be a battle worth starting but what if you were still vegetarian? I would mad as h Il
    via u/Relative_Dentist5396
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    finalgirlsam NTA and I mean, no offense, but those members of your family are mean little sociopaths. What else have they been doing to you secretly over the years? If you developed a food allergy would they think you were faking it and try and poison you?
    via u/finalgirlsam
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    Lady Squids OP They can be a little sadistic honestly. I got sick of it once and ran away when I was 15 but was caught. My family litterly just chained my window down and made me writethem all an apology note ( - _ -) -
    via u/Lady_Squids
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    Tsurfer4 A little sadistic?! I think you need to put some distance between you and these "nasty little sociopaths" as soon as you financially and legally can do so. Hang in there!
    via u/Tsurfer4
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    blueswan6 NTA It's a about respect, which they didn't have for you. I would tell them that this really changes how you view them and your relationships with them. Hold them accountable, whenever they say they're being truthful just point out that you can't really know that because they have a history of lying to you. You don't have to get mad, just be upfront that you see them differently now and that's their fault. You don't have to cut them off or anything but some healthy distance won't hurt.
    via u/blueswan6

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teens family drama fat teenager teenagers protein bad parenting reddit story bad parents family vegetarians reddit thread vegetarian Reddit bacon meat
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